worst mistake of my first year in college

“Are you going to be a teacher?”

“You’re not going to make a lot of money with that.”

“What are you going to do?!”

These were the reactions I got when telling people that my major was ENGLISH. The rest of the world doesn’t exactly sound supportive when they peg the major and the one making the least $$$ and makes it out to be a nerdy or “useless” waste of time. Naturally, I felt embarrassed and annoyed. I started to panicking. What if I really couldn’t find a job after I graduated? How was I going to pay off my student loans? Most of my friends were on the pre-med track or math/science related. I’m disappointed to say that I fell to peer pressure and convinced myself that changing my major to Resource Economics with a concentration in Consumer and Family Economics was the best thing in the world! I even packed up my spring schedule with a bunch of pre-business courses so I could get into the Accounting Major with the maximum amount of credits a student can take (18 credits). It didn’t matter that I disliked math and wasn’t very good at it because I would be able to get a “job” after college. That is, if I even graduated on time. Ugh.

You see, it’s now a good four weeks into the semester and am falling behind in assignments and don’t go to class when I have the tiniest excuse not to go. Last semester after I got a 2.571, my motivation shot up and I was determined to get that coveted 4.0 this semester. Unfortunately at the rate I’m at right now, I’d be lucky if I got the same GPA again. Not to mention my parents are going to KILL me when they find out my first year of college I couldn’t make it into the 3-point range (I think they already expect the 4.0 will never be attainable, so they settle for a high range 3 pointer).

But today something happened. I woke up and my throat felt awful and for the entire day I just sat in bed except for the one time to go eat at the dining common for a meal. I watched a Disney movie and a bunch of youtube videos. Ten hours effectively wasted that could have been spent on studying for my Econ103 exam Wednesday. As I sat in bed and let my mind wander, I came to a really delayed realization–a good 19 years too late.

I really love reading AND writing. Ever since I learned how to read in first grade, books have been a huge part of my life. Whenever I visited the library, I checked at least 20-30 books and returned a week later. I spend insane amounts of money on books. A trip to B&N costs me at least $100, no joke. I am always thinking of stories and plots. I’m obsessed with how certain words can evoke specific emotions and think every book is just a conversation between the author and the reader. I will go back to certain pages/scenes in books to analyze how the writer was able to word something that felt so right! Plus, I wouldn’t mind reading late into the night or getting up early to write–because I love to do it. I know that I’m decent at writing and will definitely take the time to improve every chance I get. I would NEVER do this for math.

It’s so clear to me now that I want to just smack myself and shout: “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!”

On the bright side, I know what I’m going to do. All is not lost, the classes I’m taking right now are fulfilling a General Education requirement and I’ll only have three left after this semester. One of my professors is in the English department so I can talk to her about it. I also have time on my side. . .I have three more years left. So the first round of $12,325 in loans wasn’t really wasted. Sarcasm is so cool! 8D

And for my friends, family, and general public I am going to make a bet. By the time I graduate in May 2013, I will 1) be richer than my fellow diploma-receiving-peers; 2) be the happiest I have ever been; 3) be paid for doing work I genuinely love.

P.S.

I know the world is supposed to end in 2012. . . .but let me tell you a secret. I’m graduating in 2013 because not even an apocalypse can stop me from achieving my goals. =]

** Next Post: How to tell my Korean parents that I am going into a major that most people see as anything but lucrative. And my thoughts on what my future job/career looks like!

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One Response to “worst mistake of my first year in college”

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